Tuesday, November 3, 2009
the hard times continue.
This death is just hard for me to get over, or should I say move on. I have never had anyone close to me pass away (well anyone I had daily contact with and were a part of my life at the time.) I can't quite figure out how I feel, it isn't really as much a loss for me as for my Dad. It kills me to see him in such pain, and to imagine how he must feel. What next, for him? He is pretty much left with nothing, she was his everything. I don't have to much to offer except to listen. I don't have a place for him to live or any extra funds to help out in anyway. AHHH when did this happen, when did I become the adult, the one to worry about my father (oh wait it has always been that way.) When will this hurting and anxiety end, or does it? you just learn to deal. I don't know what I will do when someone even closer to me passes, how will I deal with it, if I can't even seem to be strong now.? I know with my immediate family we will be together again. I need to feel comfort in that....
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6 comments:
you learn to deal and you accept it... every day will get easier. i promise.
it might seem silly, but i find comfort in knowing that my grandma is in a much better place and feels no pain. i still get upset that she is not here, to make me believe that things will be okay, but she is in spirit.
if you can, visit her - when you're ready. that also helps. i talk to my grandma regularly... it might seem crazy, but i believe she is here for me still.
i love you fran, you know you can always call me anytime if you need someone. you are the most amazing friend any one would wish for. please hug your dad for me... he is in my heart always. <3
XOXOXO
hope you feel better soon! we love you guys!
i'm so sorry Fran. In time everything feels better. church music always always eases the ache for me. i hope you feel better soon.
there's a part in "finding nemo" where Dory sings 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." you just keep moving forward. Time is the only help. I second Sarah's comment about music!!! pop in an EFY cd, and find comfort in the great spirit of the music. Love you Fran
Well, if Tupac were here today, he would say..."Keep your head up...ooh ooh child, things are gonna get easier." But he's not, so I will just say I love you! :) I know this is incredibly difficult to deal with, but it will get easier with time. Give me a call if you feel like chatting.
FRAN!!! I MISS YOU!! I am so SORRY I have been out of the loop...sick with this darn flu thing...goes through the whole family! I WANNA hang out! Or even just talk! If you need anything, you know I AM HERE!! I NEED another one of those days with you! MISS YOU!
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